| Thumb the Habit! |
By: Tina Boscha, Columnist, “Kids and Health”
On 1/21/06
I am going to admit something I haven’t admitted to anyone else: I sucked my thumb until I was nine years old.
Even my stepdaughters don’t know the full truth. When my eldest asked me how long I had the habit, I replied, “I’m not sure,” doing my best to sound nonchalant. I’m embarrassed to admit that I did something so infantile for so long.
| "Of course, praise is key. If you notice your child not biting a fingernail or sucking a thumb, comment on it. Say, “I’m so glad you’re not doing that..." |
Why did I suck my thumb? It was comforting. It was something I did when relaxing on the couch with a book, or when I went to sleep. If my brother teased me a bit too much, it helped me get through those moments too.
All of us have habits (some better than others) that we turn to when we need to manage a situation, and children are no exception. Besides thumb sucking, nail-biting and hair twirling are common childhood habits. In most cases, they are simply stress and anxiety relievers, and mild ones at that.
Thumb sucking and hair twirling are techniques babies learn to soothe themselves. The desire to suckle, in particular, is a strong and healthy desire in infants. However, if a child continues to suck his thumb when his adult teeth begin to come in, it can cause the upper and lower teeth to misalign.
Children under the age of three aren’t likely to become nail-biters, and experts aren’t sure how kids pick up this practice. Often their parents or siblings bite their nails, so the habit is either genetic, learned, or both.
Like thumb sucking, nail biting is usually harmless, if a bit unsightly. Yet, like most things, anything in excess can lead to problems. If the child bites too much and causes her nails to bleed, there is a chance for permanent damage to the nailbed, even infection.
Despite these dangers, if your child has one of these habits, most child health experts agree that you shouldn’t worry. Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that most kids break the thumbsucking habit around the same time they begin to lose their baby teeth. They really do grow out of it. It’s not always the same with nail biting, though. If your child engages in this habit, or is having a hard time breaking the habit of thumb sucking, there are ways you can help.
Help is the key word here, as encouragement and positive reinforcement tend to be the most productive. First, talk to your child. Ask her if she knows why she engages in that habit. Can he tell you when he notices it most? Chances are, your child can’t pinpoint the emotions behind the urge, but can tell you it was because they heard a noise and were scared, or were nervous about a test at school. Use that opportunity to talk about feelings so that your child can identify times in the future when they are tempted to suck their thumb or bite their nails, or engage in another unhealthy habit.
You should also inform your child about why they should break the habit, emphasizing health over appearances. You may need to call in the big guns here – the family doctor or dentist. This isn’t meant to be a scare tactic, rather, children (like most of us) respect these authority figures and are less likely to challenge their opinions.
Distraction works too. Give your child something fun to do that requires both hands. Coloring, drawing, putting together a collage, even a treasure map – the ideas are endless.
Of course, praise is key. If you notice your child not biting a fingernail or sucking a thumb, comment on it. Say, “I’m so glad you’re not doing that right now, good job.” This is more likely to elicit a positive response rather than pointing out the moments of weakness.
Applying bitter or otherwise unpleasant tasting products to fingernails and thumbs may help, too, as the taste creates a negative association with the habit. Small amounts of vinegar, fresh aloe vera, and commercial products can be used. However, some children will simply persist until the bitter taste is gone. I know. I did that.
What finally made me quit sucking my thumb? Fifth grade, pure and simple. My friends were getting bras. I was still sucking my thumb. I wanted the bra more than my fifth digit. So I quit on my own. In fact, many experts say that social pressure may win out more than anything. Friends and fellow students may notice ragged fingernails and comment. The same goes for other habits, especially thumb sucking. You may even encourage some extra sleepovers with friends who don’t partake in these habits, so your child will censor his or her behavior and also simply have less time to do it privately.
And above all, minimize your own unhealthy habits – as we are often pressed to do, setting a good example is key.
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