| Why the Number of Single-Child Families is Increasing So Rapidly |
By: Jane Irwin, Alternative Family Columnist
On 12/17/05
At present, there are approximately 20 million single-child families in the US. In fact, according to the National Center on Health Statistics, 19% of women between the ages of 40 and 44 have only one child –
| "Beyond the biological and emotional determinants, some of us find the prospect of having a large family financially daunting and sometimes untenable." |
- almost twice the number of twenty years ago. In order to achieve 'natural replacement' and sustain a population growth each couple should all have at least 2.1 kids. Ok, so the .1 is a difficult number to achieve, but why is the trend to have fewer children, and what impact will this have?
One reason is that American women are looking at starting a family later in their lives. More couples wait until their mid-to-late 30s, or even 40s to start a family. Some women focus on careers in early adulthood, and finding the right time to start a family isn't necessarily the primary focus. Additionally, some women don't meet the right partner until we're on the cusp of our pro-creational peak.
Invariably, the older we get, the higher the risk is of experiencing fertility issues. Many couples struggle to conceive the first child, and since the probability of conception decreases by 3% to 5% a year for women over 30, having a second child is not always a question of choice.
Some couples have to overcome tremendous difficulties, albeit emotional, biological and or financial, to have their first child. One couple I know had a biological child later in life and decided to adopt their second child - a trend which is definitely on the rise in the US. Last year, over 22,000 children were adopted from overseas alone.
What are the drawbacks to single-child family life?
There's no denying the pressure on parents to provide the practical and emotional support children need. Of course it's much easier to devote time and energy to one child rather than four. On the downside, an only child doesn't get the day-to-day interaction living with a sibling provides. Learning to share, negotiate for attention and to build brotherly bonds are skills a single child misses out on.
Having two or more children can sometimes make life a little easier. My sister found her second child much easier to manage as she had in-house entertainment in her first daughter, who later grew into a very convenient baby sitter.
However, everyone's situation is different, and many pending parents struggle between doing what's best for them versus providing what's best for their family. There's always the fear that a single child will miss out and feel a void growing up. Only children can feel a sense of loneliness, particularly later in life, but there are no guarantees that siblings will get along and bonding will take place. I come from a family of six, and while there was periodic sibling rivalry and squabbling, the bonds were forged and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Beyond the biological and emotional determinants, some of us find the prospect of having a large family financially daunting and sometimes untenable. On average, not including college fees, the cost of raising a child is around $170.000 - and that's only until they reach the tender age of 18.
Ultimately, we all face our own individual circumstances when it comes to starting a family. If we're lucky, we get to choose how many kids we want, and are able to provide them with the necessary financial and emotional support. What’s right for one family, however, isn’t necessarily right for the other, and every outcome isn’t always within our control.
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