| Kids and Natural Disaster: What Our Children See |
By: Tara J. DeRosa, Ph.D., Columnist, “A Child’s Internal World”
On 1/13/06
Just after Hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf States late last year, my son crept up to me one morning and asked, his eyes wide with curiosity, “Why was there a hurricane, Mommy?” I mumbled some jargon about weather patterns and watched his eyes glaze over in confusion.
| "After spending two days covered in mud, moving sandbags, and shoveling drains, we were finally able to get a Bobcat to help with the cleanup." |
As he stared at the shocking headline photos, I was caught between the desire to shelter him from all media until he was older (say, 35) and the knowledge that doing so was not a viable solution.
The fact is that natural disasters occur and children, even those whose parents turn off the news and guard their conversation, are aware that something frightening has happened. When my carefully constructed meteorological lecture did nothing to satisfy my son, I turned my attention to the concrete. Armed with gloves and a flashlight, he and I set about ensuring that our family disaster kit was well stocked.
I made it an adventure in which he could participate, allowing him to choose a stuffed animal and extra clothing for the box. For three days he announced to everyone that if a hurricane came to our house, we would be safe. While the accuracy of that could certainly be debated, the point is that taking concrete steps to prepare for crisis did more to quell his fears than all the empty reassurances I could have offered.
How do I know this? In the pre-dawn hours of New Year’s Eve, as we slept peacefully, miles away on vacation, a mudslide hit our house. The call from our neighbors came at 6 a.m. and after hastily loading the car, we drove home in the pouring rain. As we rode along I heard my son’s timid voice, “Mommy?” he said. “Don’t worry. Remember, we have our disaster box, so we’ll be safe.” I almost cried then, moved by his earnestness and relieved that he, at least, had found a way to gain peace in a frightening situation.
All children respond differently to disaster and a number of factors impact their overall stress level.
Age
A child’s age impacts his specific response to disaster. Pre-school age children may begin exhibiting “abandoned behaviors” such as bed-wetting, intense fear of separation, thumb-sucking, and general clinginess. School-age children may begin refusing to attend school, generally out of a reluctance to separate from their parents, and may develop very real stomach pains or headaches. Finally, adolescents tend to downplay their fears while at the same time acting out or regressing to earlier behaviors.
Media Exposure
Repeated exposure to the media usually increases a child’s stress level. Though school-age children and adolescents may initially appear relieved by watching news of the disaster, continual exposure actually increases fears.
Parental Response
A National Science Foundation study conducted after the Category III Hurricane Marilyn in 1995 found that parents who are extremely anxious during or after a disaster communicate to their children that there is reason to be afraid. Parents who remain calm, institute planned disaster procedures, and continuously reassure their children communicate that, although the disaster was frightening and their lives are altered, they will put the pieces back together. Interestingly, however, parents who were dishonest with their children by downplaying their own fears or denying the impact of the disaster also tended to increase their child’s anxiety.
The most effective response is to answer questions briefly and honestly, acknowledging their own feelings while at the same time communicating to their children that they are working to manage the situation. In addition:
Parents of preschoolers can:
- Keep to regular family routines.
- Provide extra physical comfort and verbal reassurance that they are nearby.
- Avoid unnecessary separations.
- Permit a child to sleep in the parents' room temporarily.
- Encourage expression of feelings through play, artwork and storytelling.
- Limit media exposure by turning off the television when young children are present.
- Involve the child in developing and rehearsing a family safety plan and disaster kit.
Parents of school-age children can:
- Provide extra attention.
- Remain consistent by gently enforcing limits.
- Allow a child to tell and re-tell the “disaster story” and/or create different scenarios.
- Encourage emotional expression through conversation, play, and artwork.
- Provide age-appropriate opportunities to help with chores or disaster recovery work.
- Describe the positive aspects of the disaster (i.e. neighbors helping one another, all family members remaining safe).
- Limit media exposure by planning alternate activities to watching the news (i.e. preparing a meal, coloring, reading books).
- Involve the child in developing and rehearsing a family safety plan and disaster kit.
Parents of adolescents can:
- Listen to concerns without judgment and answer questions honestly.
- Encourage discussion of trauma experiences among peers.
- Involve adolescent in household or community recovery work.
For my part, the recent mudslide reminded me of a child’s innate ability to make lemonade out of lemons. After spending two days covered in mud, moving sandbags, and shoveling drains, we were finally able to get a Bobcat to help with the cleanup. Standing in the garage watching the crew, my son was awed by the big machine. The driver graciously offered to let him “drive” and we spent the next 30 minutes snapping pictures of a blissful 4-year-old working the controls to scoop the mud.
By the end, we were laughing and making jokes about hiring my son out to pay for the repairs. It is those pictures, his grin and shining eyes that will ultimately overshadow the dirt and mess and confusion of the last few days. Just more proof that listening to our children will lead us out of the darkness and into the light.
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