| The Nature of Love |
By: Lois Kellerman, Columnist, “Mother Knows Best”
On 1/29/06
I was thinking about Ferne the other day as I changed her younger sister, Daisy’s diaper. Daisy has the same softness about her face that Ferne had when she was in the toddler room. I scrunched the front part of Daisys diaper together.
| "Theologians call this phenomena Eminence; The sense of a radical holiness beyond our grasp." |
Even with the new improved plastic thingamagiggy that is supposed to make using cloth diapers easier, it still takes me twice as long to change Daisy as it does to change any of the other kids. So we talk. And talk. Daisy tells me in her one year-old language about everything she is thinking and I talk back, acknowledging her words and explaining the philosophy of unicorns and other stuff.
We really enjoy each other's company. I mean it. Often, I have breakthroughs during these meditative changing-table moments. Last week—because Daisy was only wet--I didn't use my rubber gloves. As I picked up the wet diaper and tossed it into a holding bag the dampness on my fingers triggered this thought: If deep-being is pervasive, like the wetness in a diaper, then anyone can be in touch with it whenever they happen to pause and take notice the of the incredible beauty in and around them. Theologians have a large word for this: Imminence. It suggests that holiness suffuses everything.
But also, during those special hours I help care for Daisy and all her other toddler companions, the experience of entering a realm beyond the ordinary is as present as a child’s cheer as she hurtles down the slide. Yesterday, she was crawling. Today she can’t wait to dash over and climb up all sorts of challenging things. It seems I must have eyes everywhere. And the non-stop nature of the job doesn’t allow the luxury of daydreaming. Singled-out thoughts for reflection vanish in the frantic pace of disinfecting toys, bandaging skinned knees, mopping floors and rocking children to sleep. The hours rush on like a whirling dervish until, punctuated by gleanings of a larger picture of reality.
Once, when Daisy pointed her finger toward a white fluffy mass in the sky and said, “cwold” I felt myself propelled into a place where momentarily I saw the community as a whole cycling upwards toward an unknowable future. Awesome moments like these are as incomprehensible as a dry rain. Theologians call this phenomena Eminence; The sense of a radical holiness beyond our grasp.
Meantime, in the daily routine of nurturing, every toddler-sized jacket I button, every tidbit of Juevos Con Salsa I serve, tugs my sleeve and pulls me closer to a most amazing place. I can't locate it for you on the map, but if you hear laughter mixed with some crying, big boots running, and lots of tiny snores, you're probably pretty near. If you look into Ferne, or Lilly’s face, or the face of any child anywhere, you will learn the way to go there with a hop, skip and a jump.
This is the secret you were meant to know, the happy news for everyone. Love can be found anywhere; everywhere; in cyclones and in each gentle breeze. Notice it, celebrate it then move on. It’s as common as a favorite storybook. It’s as jolting as the first time a child called out your name.
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